The life you want isn’t necessarily out of reach. But getting there requires you to stop giving away your power and start taking ownership of the choices that move you forward.

Listen to the podcast episode here.

What would happen if you stopped blaming your circumstances, stopped waiting for the right time, and finally took full ownership of your life?

If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or wondered why you’re not getting the results you want, it may be time to look at your life through a different lens: radical responsibility.

Taking ownership of your choices is one of the keys to unlocking everything you want in life. It means recognizing that while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you respond.

And that single shift can transform your future.

What Does It Mean to Own Your Choices?

So, what does it actually mean to own your choices?

It sounds simple, but the reality is owning your choices means taking full responsibility for every decision, every action, and even every thought that crosses your mind. It’s about saying, “This is my life, and I’m in control of it,” regardless of what happened in the past or what’s happening right now.

Now, I know that’s usually easier said than done.

You might be thinking, “Yeah, but you don’t know what I’ve been through. You don’t understand my circumstances. There are so many things that are outside of my control.”

I don’t doubt that all of that is true.

There are always things we can’t control, but you can control how you respond to them. I’m sure you’ve heard that before and you might be tired of hearing it, but it’s so true, it’s kind of annoying, because there really are no excuses why you can’t accomplish everything you say you want to.

And I say “everything you say you want” because oftentimes our actions don’t line up with our words.

We can say we want something, but when our actions don’t match the desire, what we really mean is, “I want that if it’s easy” or “I want that if I don’t have to give up [insert almost anything].”

The Victim Mindset Keeps You Stuck

Here’s where most people get stuck: they live in a victim mindset.

They think life is happening to them, and when you’re stuck in that mindset, you’re powerless. You’re stuck in a cycle of excuses, and frankly, it gets a bit exhausting.

Instead of saying, “This is hard, but I can figure it out,” we say, “This is hard, so I can’t do it.”

As soon as we say the word “can’t,” our brain literally stops looking for solutions and it accepts whatever situation we’re in, even if there’s a glaringly obvious way through it.

When we live in a victim mindset, we’re stuck. We blame circumstances, other people, or lack of time, but the moment you own your choices, you gain the power to change your future.

When you stop blaming your circumstances and start owning your choices, you shift into an ownership mentality. You stop waiting for life to happen and start making life happen.

And trust me, that’s where the magic is.

Why Ownership Is Non-Negotiable for Success

Taking ownership of every thought, behavior, and belief is absolutely non-negotiable if you want success.

It’s really easy to think:

“I can’t do this.”
“It’s just not possible for me.”
“Yeah, they did it, but…”

You know what I say to that? Bull crap. If someone else has done it, you can too. I can too.

The only thing standing in your way is whether or not you’re willing to take ownership and do the work. Period. And I know that’s not what people always want to hear, but it’s the truth.

These thoughts of not being able to do it, not having what it takes, or believing that success happens to other people can be so automatic that we don’t even realize we’re thinking them. When we think like that often enough, we take on those thoughts as beliefs, even if we didn’t intend to. Even if we didn’t give our brain permission to create that belief.

If you’re reading this thinking that success is for “other people,” that it’s not meant for you, you’re wrong.

You’re buying into a lie. The truth is, you can accomplish anything you want if, and this is the key, if you’re willing to do what it takes.

Success Requires More Than Skill

I don’t know if you watched the Paris Summer Olympics in 2024, but I love sports, so politics aside, I’m going to be watching the Olympics.

One thing I loved this year was all of the talk about mindset. I’m sure it wasn’t new, but I’m much more aware of the power of our thoughts than I was four years ago, so I probably just never noticed it before.

The thing about success, whether in sports or anywhere else in life, is that it’s rarely the skillset that separates the winners from the losers.

I remember watching women’s gymnastics and one of the Brazilian Olympians said she walked two hours to and from the gym to get to practice, as a child, because her mom worked and she wanted to be a gymnast.

Are you willing to have that type of commitment to live the life you want?

There may have been a young girl living in the same town as her who was more talented, more naturally gifted in gymnastics, but the thought of getting to a gym two hours away never crossed her mind because her brain said, “I can’t," so she closed herself off from opportunity. She took herself out of the game.

There was a recurring commercial that Nike had, and I just loved it. In giant, bold letters across the screen it said, “Winning isn’t for everyone.” And Nike was right. Winning isn’t for everyone because not everyone is willing to do what it takes. Not everyone is willing to earn it.

But here’s the beauty of radical responsibility: you can choose to be that person. When you choose to be the person who gets it done, a world of possibilities opens up and life becomes very exciting.

Taking full ownership is not easy. Some days it feels downright impossible. It’s a completely different mindset that takes practice to get used to.

It means stepping up when things get tough. It means looking at your actions, your habits, and your mindset, and asking:

“Am I doing everything in my power to get the results I want?”
“Am I taking the coaching?”
“Am I looking for a way through?”

Because here’s the deal: excuses don’t help you lose weight. Excuses don’t build businesses. And they sure as heck don’t create the life you’re dreaming of.

I ask myself these questions often. It’s kind of a pain sometimes to be self-aware, because you can’t lie to yourself. Truthfully, sometimes I’m okay not getting the result I’m after because I’m not willing to do what it takes, or at least I’m not willing to do that method to get there. And that’s okay because I’m owning that decision. I’m not blaming my circumstances or the method for why I can’t get results when everyone else can.

I understand what I’m willing to do, and sometimes it means I’m choosing not to get the result because I’m not willing to get it that way. There's nothing wrong with having boundaries, standards, or non-negotiables, but you can't complain about the results you're not getting if you choose not to take the action to get it.

How to Start Taking Ownership Today

So the question becomes: how do you start owning your choices and your life?

Let’s break it down into four steps that you can implement today.

Step 1: Practice Radical Self-Honesty

Step one is radical self-honesty, and when I say radical, I mean it.

You need to look at your life and ask:

“Where am I making excuses?”
“Where am I avoiding responsibility?”

Be brutally honest with yourself, because this is the only way you can break free from old patterns and limiting beliefs.

Maybe you’ve been saying you don’t have time to work on your health or business because of your family obligations, but if you’re being honest, how much time are you spending on social media or Netflix or a mindless game on your phone?

Ask yourself, “Where am I making excuses? Where am I letting fear or blame control my decisions?”

It may not be easy, but it’s the first step to freedom.

Step 2: Make Small, Consistent Changes

Step two is to start small. You don’t need to overhaul your entire life overnight. That’ll actually set you up for failure. What you do need is to make small, consistent changes that build momentum. It’s not because you can't do more. It's because chances are you’ve created a habit of not following through, and that wears on our ability to complete anything.

You have to rebuild trust with yourself so that when you commit to something, your brain actually believes you and it’ll stop looking for ways to repeat old patterns of starting strong and fizzling out.

What’s one small action you can take today that will move you closer to owning your life? Maybe it’s committing to a morning workout, planning out your meals, or blocking off 30 minutes to work on your side hustle.

Whatever it is, start small, but start now.

Put something in your calendar for today, and before you go to bed, put something in your calendar for tomorrow.

You’d be amazed at how those small wins start to snowball into progress.

Step 3: Create a Plan and Get Accountability

Step three is to create a plan and get some accountability.

Without a plan, you’re just drifting in the open ocean of life and you’ll end up wherever the current takes you.

You have to know where you’re going and how you’re going to get there. Otherwise, you’re giving up control over how things end up. Accountability is key because we’re a lot more likely to keep our promises to someone else than we are to ourselves.

Where I see people get hung up on this is feeling like they don’t have anyone in their life to be accountable to.

They don’t want to tell people what they’re working on because they’ll either roll their eyes and say, “Yeah, okay,” or they just don’t get it because they don’t want to change their life and they don’t understand why you do.

If that’s you, find a community or hire a coach because while you can get there on your own, you’ll get there a whole lot faster and a lot less painfully with effective accountability.

Step 4: Embrace Failure as Part of Growth

Finally, step four is to embrace failure.

And I know that sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Failure isn’t the enemy. Inaction is the enemy.

Failure is feedback. It’s how you learn, grow, and adjust your strategy to get closer to your goals because, like it or not, there are certain things you can only learn from doing it wrong.

Yes, of course learning from other’s mistakes will give you a leg up, but it’s impossible to get to your own finish line without jumping over your own hurdles and making your own mistakes.

One of my mentors, Shanda Sumpter, said, “The faster you fail, the faster you succee," and it wasn’t a shortcut, like go out there and do a really crappy job for a while and eventually you’ll win. What it really was, was permission to be imperfect. Permission to make mistakes. Permission to give yourself grace because at least you’re trying. At least you’re doing something. At least you’re taking action even if you don’t know everything.

When I heard this coaching, I was just starting to do Facebook Lives and most people would agree that hitting that little “go live” button the first handful of times can be downright terrifying. I mean, the hesitation and talking to yourself to do it is kind of comical. But when I made the goal to fail five times in a day (and that takes a lot of effort. You have to do a lot of meaningful things if you’re going to fail five times in 24 hours), it gave me permission to just do it and not care what anyone else thought.

If I know I suck but I’m going to do it regardless, there’s really nothing anybody can say to me that will prevent me from doing it again. And that freedom to take action and learn quickly is why the faster you fail, the faster you’ll succeed. So, instead of fearing failure, start seeing it as part of the process, a rite of passage.

You’re not going to get everything right the first time, but as long as you’re learning and adjusting, you’re moving forward.

You Can Do Anything If You’re Willing to Do What It Takes

I want to end with this mindset shift: You can do anything if you’re willing to do what it takes.

No one said it was going to be easy. The problem isn’t whether or not you’re capable. It’s whether or not you’re willing.

Success in absolutely any area in life is about grit, determination, and being willing to fail if it means you’ll succeed.

Think about the people you look up to, maybe it’s someone like Tony Robbins or Alex Hormozi. They didn’t get to where they are by accident. They made the decision to own their choices and take radical responsibility, even when it felt unfair, even when it sucked, even when they didn’t want to.

And that is what changes lives.

So, let me ask you:

Are you willing to do what it takes?
Are you willing to put in the work, face the challenges, and keep going even when it’s hard?
Are you willing to be responsible for every single little thing you do even when it seems inconsequential?

If your answer is yes, then there’s nothing stopping you.

Your Challenge: Take Ownership of One Area of Your Life

This week, I challenge you to write down one area where you’ve been avoiding responsibility. What’s one decision you can make today to start owning that part of your life?

Remember, your success is up to no one but you.